That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
