Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
