no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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