it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You made out with two different species that night
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
