Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There's always time for handjobs
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
