Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
