So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My life is pants optional.
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