FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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