That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I love you. Go after that dick
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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