Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
