That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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