just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
