i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
