I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
