He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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