whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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