I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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