I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
