So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
