pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The adults are the big ones right?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
