he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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