Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Randomize
