sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
