But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
