I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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