I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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