we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
