She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
