she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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