i don't like sucking hair
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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