I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
