literally had 100 drinks last night.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
