I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
