I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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