honey bunches of taint.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
