I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
