...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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