once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
