Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
