1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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