I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
