The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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