my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
