Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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