When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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