there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
