he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize