its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
