I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
