I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
