No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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